HOW KIND ARE YOU TO YOURSELF?

  1. Take a blank piece of paper.
  2. Write the name of a friend (someone you want the best for) in the middle.
  3. Put a circle around it.

Now imagine they've just told you about a challenge, a goal they really want to achieve. Whatever it is, this matters to them. Write down all the things you would say to help them achieve that goal. How would you encourage them? What would you do to support them?

Read it over. And now ask yourself:

'How does this compare to what I tell myself when I've set myself a challenge?' What does your inner critic throw at you? How hard are you on yourself?

  • Are you your own supporter and champion?
  • Or your own opponent and chief antagonist?

This exercise is adapted from Shahroo Izadi's book 'The Kindness Method' and the premise that how we speak to our best friend (usually with kindness), compared to how we speak to ourselves (often with disdain) stops us from embracing new challenges, new habits and a better life for ourselves.

With a background in psychology and the behavioural sciences, and a practitioner of therapeutic approaches to addiction treatment, Izadi brings to life the nature of habits. She explores how we can better prepare ourselves for change and up the success ratio.

What sets the book apart - for me - are the MAPS.

These are mind maps (like the one described above) which she uses to help people think deeply about personal change (think health, finances, lifestyle, career) and the role each of these maps plays in preparing for, succeeding with, and sustaining change.

It's a great addition to the 'how to maintain change' bookshelf.

A good companion to James Clear's 'The Atomic Habits'

#thekindessmethod #kindness #bookrecommendation #psychology #smartthinking #lifelonglearning

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